i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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