i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
