i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
