areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
