He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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