I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
