So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
