Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
