Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
