so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
