Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need to calm my uterus...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
