Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
