i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Life is so much better after having sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
