so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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