I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
