I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
