ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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