when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
