we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
