new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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