we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
