I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
