I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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