The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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