I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
