Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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