Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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