we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
