My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
