I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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