you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
