But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
