Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
