I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
