marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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