4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
