Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
