Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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