Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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