I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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