I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
