she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
