i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
