His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
