i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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