You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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