I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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