her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
