He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
