There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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