your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
