Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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