i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Randomize
